How To Stop Arguing With Your Children

Make a  "No Means No Policy" Allow the children the freedom to ask you anything once but if the answer is something they don't like they may not keep begging. 
After the question is asked and answered once refuse to answer a second time.

Use a “Qualitive Yes Policy”. Instead of saying no say yes with qualifications. ” Yes dear you may go outside as soon as your homework is done.” Or “Yes dear I will read you that story as soon as I am done with the dishes.” Turning no into yes is easy once you get in the habit and it avoids the inevitable question “Why”.

Have a no "Whine Policy". Explain to them that when they want to tell you something you cannot hear them unless they speak in a civil tone of voice.

Make a "Rules are Rules Policy" Define the rules of behavior and privileges you expect from your children. For children old enough to read post a chart with the rules and expected consequences for breaking that rule on the bulletin board in each child’s room.

Define a “Working Together Policy”. Explain to the children that if a family works together to get the chores done there is more time to play together. Even a child of three can be expected to help pick up her toys and set the table. Assign each child a chore and the reward for completing the chore all week can be a special “date” for just the two of you.  If the child does not complete her chores say something like “ I’d love to play that game with you but I am too tired because I had to do your chores.”

Make a “Pay As You Go Policy” We adults know that entertainment costs money but we need to teach our children that. Decide how much TV watching, video game playing etc. They you want your child to have and give you child” ½ Hour Tokens” at the beginning of each week. Extra tokens can be awarded for extra chores or for good behavior. Tokens can be taken away for unacceptable behavior. Then expect the child to “pay” for his entertainment.

Make Sunday “Family Appreciation Day”.  During Sunday dinner each member of the family must tell what they appreciate about another person in the family. Parents and grandparents can give appreciation awards to children that have done something extra for someone else. This teaches children that they are appreciated and they learn that good citizenship has its rewards. 

Learn to listen and repeat. Most of us, children included, want to know we are heard. If we repeat back what the child has said, the child either knows we understand what he or she is talking about or has the opportunity to correct it.

Hopefully these tips will reduce the stress in your household.