How to talk to your doctor 
10 ways to get better medical care

One of the most important tasks of parenting grandchildren is to take care of ourselves to be sure we are at our best to care for the children. The way to get the best medical care is to talk to your doctor about what’s really going on in your life. Face it folks most of us are no longer spring chickens. Those little (and big) aches and pains we chalk up to aging might be things that are simple to fix. A recent visit to my gynecologist led me to find out that we older women really can run jump and cough without fear. There are simple treatments that can correct so many problems these days. But to get help your doctor must know what’s really going on with your body.

I know sometimes the doctor seems rushed and busy, but good doctors want to give their best medical care and the doctor cannot do that if you are too polite or embarrassed to tell him what is bothering you. Even the best doctor is not a mind reader. One way of breaking the ice is to make a list of things you need to tell the doctor and present it at your next physical. Here are some suggestions of what to put on your list.

1. Make a list of all the medications you are taking including the name of the drug, why you are taking it, amount and how many times a day you take it. (Example Glipizide 5 mg twice a day for diabetes) Be sure to include any over the counter medications and herbal supplements you are taking. Often different medications and herbal supplements can react with one another or affect your body in less desirable ways. It turned out that the drug I was taking for cholesterol was causing all those muscle pains that were making me feel miserable. Telling my doctor was the first step in feeling better.

2. List and drug allergies and adverse reactions to drugs you have ever had. At our age our medical files are thick and something could be overlooked. I often forget myself till after I have filled a prescription. 

3. List all the other doctors you have seen since the last appointment and what caused you to see them. American health care is not very well coordinated. Especially if you’re seeing several specialists, you can’t assume that they have conferred. Last springs broken arm may have been declared healed by the orthopedist the set it but it turns out it was related to the new pain in my shoulder that came on suddenly this fall. Don’t worry doctors are not like jealous boyfriends. They like to know you are taking charge of your own health.

4.  What you want to do or used to do but can’t do any longer. Either out of pride, or denial, we often come to accept a certain level of disability, especially if it’s the result of a condition that has come on slowly or involves something private like sex. Don’t just accept and chalk it up to aging. Lab tests or a physical examination aren’t going to reveal the compromises you’ve made along the way. If you don’t tell your doctor about them, you may be missing out on treatments that would ease the problem, or even solve it.

5. An update on family history. If a first degree relative has been diagnosed with a serious illness its good to let your doctor know about it. My breast cancer diagnosis can alert the doctors my daughters go to that they too are at risk and help them get prevention and early detection. Last year’s family history may be out of date. Keeping it current will help your doctors make all sorts of decisions, not the least of which is whether you should be tested for a condition.

6. What you’re afraid of. Particularly after the diagnosis of a serious disease, many people think the worst. Other times people attribute symptoms and self diagnose serious medical conditions that may or may not be present. Discussing your fears with your doctor might reassure you by giving you some facts or a calmer, more objective perspective on your situation. Sometimes all it takes is a simple blood test to rule out the things you most fear. If its broke most times the doctor can fix it and if not the doctor can reassure you. Self- diagnosis, fears and denial can make an easily treated condition worse or prevent timely treatment of serious conditions. If I had been paralyzed by fear or denial when I found the lump in my breast I would not be here today to write this article.

7. Ask about available immunization shots. Yes we adults need them too not just our babies. This year I needed a tetanus booster, flu and pneumonia shots. Nope needles are not fun but the diseases they prevent are a lot less fun. We parenting grandparents do not have time to be laid up by preventable diseases.

8. Tell the doctor where you have been and who you have been with. Nope I am not talking sex. I am talking about travel outside the country. If youor someone close to you has traveled to other parts of the world there are infectious conditions you might have inadvertently picked up. Simple tests can identify and treat them sometimes before symptoms arise.  Also tell your doctor if you intend to travel. Preventive measures can help you not pick up any of those unwanted souvenirs. 

9. Your bad habits. Do you smoke or drink heavily. Most smokers know they shouldn’t, so they’re sometimes ashamed to tell a doctor about it. If you’re asked about smoking, don’t lie. The same goes for heavy drinking, although denial is obviously a problem. Let God be your judge and be honest so your doctor can be your helper.

10. If you’ve been depressed or under stress. Many people still don’t like to admit they’re depressed but please know that in parenting grandparents stress and the resulting depression is quite common. It’s nothing to be ashamed by. When we have family problems, kids acting up, problem adults blaming us for their own failures it would be abnormal not to be stressed.  Stress and depression get channeled into fatigue, insomnia, or irritability, so the root cause may get buried under the symptoms. Broaching the subject with a doctor is a good way to start sorting through these issues. Particularly for depression, it may lead to treatment — antidepressants, talk therapy, or some combination — that makes you feel a whole lot better.

Your doctor is your partner in preserving your health. Partnerships work best when communication is the norm and the facts are on the table. Talking to your doctor is the best way to ensure you are at your best every day and around to take care of our special children.