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BRINGING HOPE TO THE PEOPLE WE SERVE

I AM KIM WEISE A GRANDMOTHER RAISING TO GRANDS.IT WAS NOT A EASY BATTLE ADVOCATING FOR THEM .THEY DID NOT WANT TO RETURN TO THEIR MOTHER ,MY DAUGHTER THEY WANTED TO REMAIN WITH ME.THE STATES SOLE PURPOSE IS TO SOLE REUNIFIE NO MATTER WHAT IF THEY HAVE REMOTELY COMPLETED A CASE PLAN. YOU CAN DO THINGS THAT WILL ASSIST YOU IN ADVOCATING BY KEEPING DOCUMENTATION OF ALL ASPECTS.WHAT THE CHILD REVEALS TO YOU,WHAT THE CASE WORKER TELLS YOU,KEEP A DOCUMENTATION ON PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL OF THE CHILD WHILE ON SUPERVISED OR UNSUPERVISED VISITS.JNOW YOU ARE ENTITLED TO SOME HELP. RELATIVE CARE FUNDS TNA 242.00 A MONTH WHICH NOW ENABLES YOU TO RECEIVE CHILD CARE BENIFITS.YOU MUST RECEIVE TNA TO RECEIVE CHILD CARE.I WAS VEIWED AS NOT HAVING ANY RIGHTS WITH DCF INVOLEMENT .THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE .THERE ARE STATUES PUT INTO PLAY FROM WASHINGTON TO ASSISIT US YOU NEED TO KNOW WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND.IF YOU ARE IN FLORIDA THE FIRST THING IS GETTING INTO A SUPPORT GROUP SETTING SUCH AS MINE.AFTER BEING TOLD 5 YEARS AGO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT ?I BECAME A STATE/FEDERAL NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION TO ASSISIT RELATIVES RAISING CHILDREN WITH SUCH QUESTIONS.
RELATIVE CARE GIVER FOUNDATION INC. P. O. BOX 274 BELL FL 32619
PLEASE KNOW THE KINSHIP WARMLINE IS ALSO OUT THERE FOR YOU IN EVERY STATE. YOU CAN CALL FLORIDAS WARMLINE TO FIND THE WARMLINE IN YOUR STATE. THE WARMLINES NUMBER 18006406444 .THERE IS AVAIABLE THE KINSHIP LEGAL HANDBOOK.YOU CAN GO GO TO MY WEB AND COPY WWW.CAREGIVERFOUNDATION.COM .AND EMAIL ME IF THERE ARE OTHER ISSUES YOU NEED ADDRESSED.FROM LIVING THE NIGHT MARE ON MANY THINGS HAVE GOOD INFORMATION AND REFERRALS TO ASSIST YOU. WE HAVE SAVED LIVES OF CHILDREN HELPED CHILDREN IN NEED ,HELPED GRANDPARENTS RECEIVE GAURDIANSHIP.WE ARE BRINGING HOPE TO THE PEOPLE WE SERVE.NOT ALL THINGS WORK AS IN MINE BUT YOU MUST ADVOCATE ON BEHALF OF THE CHILDREN IF THAT BE THERE CHIOCE IN LIFE.LORD GOD THE ALMIGHTEY HAS LEAD THE STEPPING STONES AND WE HAVE DONE GREAT THINGS ON NO MONEY BUT WE NEED YOU TO HELP US WITH WHAT EVER DONATION TO HELP US ASSIT THE OTHERS COMNG IN PERSN TO US.WE DO PROVIDE A TAX RIGHT OFF LETTER .WE NEED VOLUNTEERS,AND MANY OTHER THINGS YOU COULD DO TO HELP IF YOU ARE LOCALLY AROUND THE SURROUNDING COUNTIES.I BLESS EACH RELATIVE RAISING CHILDREN THE GREAT JOYS THESE CHILDREN BRING AND THE HURDDLES FROM ALL THE ADVERSITIES.

How To Stop Arguing With Your Children

Make a "No Means No Policy" Allow the children the freedom to ask you anything once but if the answer is something they don't like they may not keep begging.
After the question is asked and answered once refuse to answer a second time.

Use a “Qualitive Yes Policy”. Instead of saying no say yes with qualifications. ” Yes dear you may go outside as soon as your homework is done.” Or “Yes dear I will read you that story as soon as I am done with the dishes.” Turning no into yes is easy once you get in the habit and it avoids the inevitable question “Why”.

Have a no "Whine Policy". Explain to them that when they want to tell you something you cannot hear them unless they speak in a civil tone of voice.

Make a "Rules are Rules Policy" Define the rules of behavior and privileges you expect from your children. For children old enough to read post a chart with the rules and expected consequences for breaking that rule on the bulletin board in each child’s room.

Define a “Working Together Policy”. Explain to the children that if a family works together to get the chores done there is more time to play together. Even a child of three can be expected to help pick up her toys and set the table. Assign each child a chore and the reward for completing the chore all week can be a special “date” for just the two of you. If the child does not complete her chores say something like “ I’d love to play that game with you but I am too tired because I had to do your chores.”

Make a “Pay As You Go Policy” We adults know that entertainment costs money but we need to teach our children that. Decide how much TV watching, video game playing etc. They you want your child to have and give you child” ½ Hour Tokens” at the beginning of each week. Extra tokens can be awarded for extra chores or for good behavior. Tokens can be taken away for unacceptable behavior. Then expect the child to “pay” for his entertainment.

Make Sunday “Family Appreciation Day”. During Sunday dinner each member of the family must tell what they appreciate about another person in the family. Parents and grandparents can give appreciation awards to children that have done something extra for someone else. This teaches children that they are appreciated and they learn that good citizenship has its rewards.

Learn to listen and repeat. Most of us, children included, want to know we are heard. If we repeat back what the child has said, the child either knows we understand what he or she is talking about or has the opportunity to correct it.

Hopefully these tips will reduce the stress in your household.

10 Ways to Parent A Successful Child

1. Give the child an “I CAN” Attitude. Teach her to believe that nothing is impossible. Encourage the child to solve her own problems as often as possible. Encourage her to express her own ideas. Make the phrase “I CAN'T” off limits. It may be faster and easier for you to do it for her but that teaches her nothing but dependence on others.

2. Teach the child to question everything. Lead the child to think, "Is there a better way?” and "Can I think of any way to improve on this?" Do not let the child settle for the inferior. Teach her to advocate for a better world.

3. Teach the child initiative. Initiative is simply the doing of something without being told. If there is a job to be done, the child does it. It also implies self-confidence and self-reliance. The child that grows up only doing what she is told does nothing when there is no one there to tell her what to do.

4. Whenever possible give the child a choice between two or three courses of action. The parent should say, " You may have either this one or that one. Shall we go to the park or the mall." "You may wear Green one or the blue one. “ should we make soup for lunch or sandwiches." We can find some choices are acceptable to both the child and our parenting style. Letting the child make choices prepares her for the day she must make decisions on her own. Once the choice is made, be sure the child is held accountable to her decision. Living with her decision right or wrong teacher her to make decisions carefully.

5. A child should be taught to do one thing and do it well. Help the child discover the one thing she is good at. Teach her to strive for perfection in that one task. By directing her activities toward that one goal she learns that she is competent. Setting a goal and achieving it will teach her she is competent. Goals are so important!

6. Give her some responsibilities of her own. As soon as possible throw her upon her own resources by giving her responsibilities. Give her a task that impacts her life to perform. Make her perform it to its completion. Do not correct it or finish it for her. She must realize that it is her task and that she must do it. She must know that if she does not do it, it will not be done! If she does not bring her dirty clothes to the laundry room she will soon find she has nothing to wear.

7. Teach the value of making her own money. When the child reaches the school age let her earn some money and spend it on her own. Perhaps she can work in the yard for an hour and make a dollar or two. Then take her down to the corner store to spend it alone. Wait outside while she shops. She will learn two things: She will learn to be careful about spending her money, for she had to work to get it. She will also learn to make decisions and to go somewhere on her own. She is learning that necessary fact of life that she must someday be on her own.

8. Do not fee sorry for the child. Yes she may have had hardships in her early life. But hardships can be turned around to make one stronger. Too much sympathy teaches her to whine and feel like everything is someone else’s fault. If she is going to be her own person, she must learn to face hardships, stand alone, and be willing to suffer and then overcome.

9. The child should be taught to look out for the needs of others. She should not think only of her own desire, but the desire and needs of other people. Teach her that her words and actions impact everyone around her. Show her that a family only functions well if all members behave in a manner that benefits everyone. I truly hate it when asked to please pick up the toys after a play-date the child says “But I didn’t make that mess.” My answer is “Well you didn’t make dinner either but you ate it.”

10. Teach the child compassion. Point out that there are people less fortunate that we are and talk to the child about ways she can alleviate the suffering and satisfy the needs of society. Volunteer together at a soup kitchen or food pantry. Help her school or scout troop with a fund-raiser to benefit the sick or poor. Let her know that helping others can be fun.

Help stop lying

Children lie for many reasons. Most of the time it is because they don’t want to disappoint their parents and caregivers because they did something they wish they hadn’t done. Sometimes they lie to expedite matters such as playing with friends rather than taking the time to clean their rooms. Whatever the reason here are 7 tips to help your child be more truthful.

Never punish your child for the truth!
Let your child know he or she can tell you anything without fear of punishment. Tell the child you value the truth. Let the child know that if he or she tells you about a mistake he or she made you will talk about it and help the child ways to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

Do not give a child the opportunity to lie!
Sometimes we make the mistake of asking a question that we already know the answer to. One mother I know was holding her three year old in her arms while talking to a neighbor. The child felt he was not getting her full attention so he slapped her. The shocked mother looked at the boy and said “Did you just hit me?” The child, feeling badly, looked her right in the eye and said “NO.” Okay extreme example but you get my point.
A better way is to confront a child with the truth you know. Instead of saying “Did you clean your room?” you should check first then say, “You need to clean your room.” By making statements instead of asking questions you give the child a better chance to tell the truth.

Never ask your child to lie!
When the phone rings and its someone you don’t want to talk to don’t tell the child to lie and say you aren’t home. Teach a child that it’s better to say a simple “Thank You” to Aunt Sarah for the gift sweater she made then leave the room before she asks how you like it. We can teach our children to be tactful without lying.

Always tell the truth yourself!
Children will copy behavior they see parents and caregivers model. When telling the story of the fender bender you were involved in tell the story as it happened and not how you wished it did so that the other driver would be at fault. If you make a mistake own up to it and move on. If your child sees and hears you lying it will just confuse her when you tell her lying is wrong.

Stop believing the lies!
If your child has demonstrated problems with honesty you might want to check your facts before responding. If Billy comes home with a note from the teacher about misdeeds in school, and tells you a story about how it wasn’t his fault, you don’t have to deal with it right away. Instead you could say “Billy, I am going to have to call your teacher and see what this is all about. If your daughter tells you “Everyone else is going.” Offer to call the parents of her friends to see if car pooling is needed.

Never call a child a liar!
If we put the label of LIAR on a child he or she knows that we expect them to lie. Better to tell a child caught in a lie that you expect better from him and are very disappointed.

Logical consequences need to be in place for the child who lies!
Before giving a consequence for lying take time to think. Think about what you would do if a friend lied to you. Most of us would avoid a habitual liar and have little to nothing to do with her. This winter my 11 year old lied to me. My response was to confront her with the truth, tell her how sad I am that she could not trust me with the truth and let her know I must stop believing things she told me. Then for the next few days I avoided talking with her. I let her see how our society treats lying. After that we talked about how it felt to be disbelieved and avoided.
I could have grounded her. I could have taken away a favored possession. But those things would not make sense to her. But by giving her a natural consequence to lying she got the message loud and clear.